The boy loves his "swidr".

The best $0 I've ever spent.

I got myself a fancy crumb vacuuming swiffer last year (Oh yeah, I live the high life!) and Payne inherited my old one, minus the middle two joints.

He loves it. He insists on digging it out of his toy box whenever I'm using mine, and it must, MUST have a swiffer sheet on it as well.


(Payne is helping me make sure my swiffer sheet is secure here. I can't be trusted to do it right.)





Payne is very industrious. He even squats down to get under the tables. He calls it his "swidr" and will correct anyone who tries to call it a broom or mop or other inferior cleaning implement.

Another random funny from today. Aimee and Jason came over for dinner and suddenly I realized J.P. and Payne (who were playing after they had eaten) were awfully quiet...ominously quiet, in fact. I hopped up to check on them and this is what they were doing:



I guess J.P. is an aspiring banker (with his Mama's money, naturally!). Payne is holding a crisp $20 bill here, and J.P. is clearly reviewing a reciept of the transaction.

What Toys R Us doesn't want us to know.

(He got a huge kick out of being "strong" and carrying around the big boxes all by himself)






He also stacked them up and tried to break into my zen palace (the laundry room) by getting as high as the baby gate. He must be stopped!

Of course, in all reality, those boxes "cost" me about $80. Soooo maybe yet another package of matchbox cars is a better deal after all.

Oh, and he turned an aquadoodle pen into a pistol today, a plastic freaking pen with a spongy tip! I swear boys must dream about guns in utero. He was running back and forth between Dan and I and "shooting" us. It had absolutely nothing to do with me letting him watch Kevin Costner play Wyatt Earp today. Absolutely nothing.

Before I forget...

Payne had Dan, Eric, Emily and I practically rolling this morning.

Dan told Payne that he was going to Best Buy, and he wanted Payne to come in "Daddy's car" with him.

Payne said "No! MY car!",promptly crawled into his cozy coupe and set his jaw. Dan informed him that it was in fact impossible to drive to Best Buy in a cozy coupe. Payne responded by bursting into tears and yowling " No! MY car! My drive!" and slamming the cozy coupe door on Dan, over and over again. Eric wisely explained to Payne that it would probably be impossible to "Fred Flintstone" the coupe up to highway speeds, and Payne responded with more tears and exclamations, and scooted the car out of the family room into the kitchen.

He was so very mad, and we were laughing so very hard! Poor child. We probably gave him a complex. The story ended happily enough though. Once he was peeled out of the coupe kicking and screaming and carried into the garage, he forgot all about his desire to chauffer.

Arrrrgh! I'm so frustrated I didn't get a picture!

To-ga! To-ga! To-ga!

I'm so funny. (He loves his "taow")

In other news, Payne has become quite the bossy child. He recently picked up the word "now". As a direct result of this, my day sounds like the following:

"Ma! Up NOOOOW!"

"Ma! Mik (milk) Now!"

"Onen (open) it door. Now!"

"Eat food, NOW!"

etcetera, etcetera, etcetera....

I don't think I'm properly conveying the intensity here though. Payne sort of "hulks out" when he says it. Try to replace the infamous phrase "Hulk smash!" with "Milk now!" in your head. That's my morning. Heh.

I'm in trouble.

Oh sure, he/she looks innocent and blob-ish enough (at 7 weeks 1 day here), but we all know who this really is. This is Payne's future partner in crime.

The working title for the wee one who will tilt the household balance of power in the children's favor is Nugget.

I will have as many children as I have arms come the very end of July, so you can all feel free to pray for me!

Piggy gets a makeover.

Payne decided Piggy needed some foot protection today. Although he required my assistance when it came to fine motor skills, the design work was all his.



You know what? I'm showing the under eye bags for the sake of realism. This kiddo was a total bear today and I'd earned them by 6 p.m. (I mean, I was putting shoes on plush animals to keep him happy at this point. It was a long day. heh heh)


As is vividly illustrated, after Payne set Piggy up with his sweet kicks, he propped the world's luckiest swine up in my lap and handed him the remote.

Piggy is treated pretty well these days, although he's still subjected to the occasional spanking. Payne likes to try to snap Piggy into his car seat. He sets Piggy on his knee while riding in the car, in a direct replication of how Dan and I set Payne in our laps. I've also found Payne sneaking him "sips" of milk, and showing Piggy the sights by holding him up to the car window.

I guess that faint but persistent "loved" smell is the price a prized toy pays for such privileges.

What Payne thinks of a nine hour car ride.

"Are we there yet?"

"I give up."

In all reality though, he is an awesome kid in the car. We just provide him with a "nigh" (generally, they're allowed at sleeping times only), and he spends the day in a sort of blanket induced euphoria. He takes a hit here and there, and zones out happily.

Any gaps in entertainment left by the blanket, were filled with the presence of the dogs. Who needs highway bingo when you can yell "Ed-dow! Dah-weh! Sit/Back/No!" ? Yes, Ethel and Stella's names have morphed yet again. "Dah-weh" makes Dan and I giggle, because it sounds like "Yah-weh" with a "D". Of course, Stella would find it perfectly fitting to be named after a deity. As far as she's concerned, Payne is the only one that has her correctly pegged.

Stella and the mere mortals are all glad to be home!