Thursday, June 6, 2013

Ways in which I have screwed up

Over the past few days:

- I spent a solid 10 minutes trying to screw the wrong lid onto some Tupperware. I KNEW these two pieces went together, so I tried and tried and cussed and stared at the two pieces in incredulous confusion, finally dumping my leftovers into a new container altogether. Then tonight, an epiphany.

Damn youuuuuuu competing brands of cheap plastic! Whyyyyy? 

- I have water spots on my Tupperware.


Nope. Still can't muster up any f*cks to give over that one.

- I missed a spot. 

See, I have this motherly psychosis stemming from being the main day to day caregiver of helpless beings. I am very concerned that i get no second opinions. I worry that I always miss the same tooth because of how I brush their teeth and one day both of their lower left eye teeth will just spontaneously fall out.  

When Payne was about 5 months old I suddenly discovered a hidden roll under his nonexistent neck during a bath. I was practically in tears as I scrubbed 5 months worth of formula dribbles off of my precious!

So tonight I was cleaning out Genevieve's upper ear folds and realized I'd been missing a turn for ALMOST TWO YEARS. Horrifying! Ear fold gunk! The poor child was bright red from the ear canal up by the time I had finished with her.

Mommy psychosis reinforced. Awesome.

- I keep forgetting if I fed the dogs, like at all, or just breakfast, or just dinner? I'm either starving them to death or driving them into morbid obesity. 

So yeah, not winning in the smarts department this week, but oh, can I dice a watermelon up into perfect cubes:

"No photos of the pieces, please. Quality prints of all artwork will be available in the gift shop."




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