Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Genevieve is four months old!

These were taken today. I actually got the timing right! (fist pump)

...and yes, those are itty bitty sheep print leggings. Don't be jealous!

In the last month she has become a huge chatterbox. She babbles and sings constantly. If you ask Payne what Genevieve is saying he'll answer "Awa", which is largely accurate. Heh.

She is SO CLOSE to rolling over in both directions, but she gets her shoulder stuck under herself and can't quite get the oomph to finish the maneuver.


Blogger flipped this image and I don't have the inclination to take the 15 steps to fix it. Arg.

Every now and then I get the giggles thinking about the fact that the most dexterous part of a baby is their mouth. It's hilarious to watch their limbs jerk around all uncoordinated while their lips do a full variety act of crazy and intricate wiggling.

Monday, November 28, 2011

A little of this and that.

Genevieve is using the actual seat in the stroller now. Big day!

(Yes, her bib is for a boy, but the girl bibs were largely obnoxious; and she's Daddy's buddy too, damnit.)

She seems to like it. I feel a little weird with her strapped into the front of the land yaght stroller, like a floppy little baby figurehead. She just sort of dangles from the harness, but appears to be really comfy and is much more content that way. I must say it's improved my "driving", since the first thing to hit the door frame/clothes rack/pedestrian is the wee one's feet.

Payne got a dress up box for his birthday, so we're going to play a little game!

Guess that costume!

Silver gum drop? Nope, my brother in law already threw that one out and was corrected.

Robot hula dancer? Newp.

Unfortunate but employed corner flyer distributor? Uh uh.

He's a "wocket sip", of course.

Maybe you'll have better luck with this one:

A dragon you say? Well, you'd be wrong!

This, my friends, according to the manufacturers is a "Tyrannosaurus".


(Tilts head)

(References Vertebrate Paleontology textbook)

Um...nice wings Mr. Rex. It's amazing no one ever noticed those (or the horns) amongst your various fossil specimens.

Fortunately Payne can't read, so he's just stuck to being a "Gwagon".

Friday, November 25, 2011


Payne: "Where's Daddy?"

Me: " I don't know. Can you find him?"

Payne: (brings finger up to chin thoughtfully) "Hmmm. Maybe d'eres supping wong."

Another day:

(Payne blows his nose into his hands and then rubs his hands all over his face)

Me: "I have never once in my life seen another human being do that Payne."

Payne: "No guys! My do it all duh time!"

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Photos of note.

Today was Payne's 3rd birthday! :

The candles were extinquished with minimal spit spray. Go Payne!

Today was also Genevieve's 1st Thanksgiving!:

She likes turkey:

The far and away winner of the "best birthday gift" contest:

The boots, not the diaper.

And finally:

How? And more importantly, why?

Sunday, November 20, 2011


Today was educational in a way.

A good single friend of mine came into town for the weekend and I really wanted to see her. We planned to meet for lunch on Saturday, but she didn't get into town until 12:30. I was all "Twelve thirty! People eat lunch that late?!". Heh heh. I couldn't do that with the kiddos, so she came by in the afternoon instead and we chatted a bit, but the kids napped through a good bit of her visit.

On Sunday I let her know to tell me if she had any lunch plans. By 11:00 (soooo late. Ha!) I decided she must not and I took Payne to McDonald's. She called while I was at McDonald's about lunch, so I scarfed my food and drove to meet her at a gigantic local mall where I could at least visit with her during her own lunch.

I remembered halfway there that I didn't have the stroller. Hmmm. Instead, I strapped Genevieve into the Baby Bjorn (a very hip look) and trekked through the mall as Payne alternately jogged alarmingly ahead of me or lagged behind in my blind spot. We found her and I discover we're meeting a couple other people. Cool!

Other person #1 shows up and she is very nicely put together, and I come to find out a medical professional. My friend is a prosthetician (cool, right?). I, on the other hand, have baby legs dangling from my midriff.

We sit down at the restaurant and Other Person #1 asks me what my job is. I answer with "I don't work". I'm met with silence. In all reality, I guess that's sort of a "getting to know you" chit chat killer, especially when said while connecting another person to one's chest underneath a veritable tent with a dahlia print. Oops.

Other Person #2 shows up and is a very nice young professional male. The three proceed to chat about their jobs, the cool places in town to go eat, how my friend's date the night before went, etc... All I can come up with as far as conversation goes is how my baby woke up screaming the night before but calmed down after she farted.

So it was a little eye opening for me. I felt a little, I don't know, dowdy? These people were all extremely nice and my friend is great with my children, but at the moment I'm in an entirely different world than they are. I'll admit I'm jealous of their freedom. My friend went out to a nice dinner and a bar for drinks last night and I watched Blue's Clues.

For the rest of the time I was with them (sacrificing ideal small kid nap time, and sweating that I'd pay for my gamble all afternoon instead of enjoying the company) I listened and contributed where I could, as I caught endangered cups of juice and dug through my enormous bag in search of forms of amusement for an almost three year old. Then I changed two diapers and took my leave.

I feel decidedly un-cool this evening. (sigh)

Friday, November 18, 2011


"My Precioussss."

Homeboy loves popcorn. This isn't new knowledge. However, it wasn't until today that I found how deeply and intensely this passion for popcorn runs.

We went to the zoo with my parents today. Payne wanted a snack and I was hungry too, so I suggested to him that we get a tube o' popcorn. This suggestion was greeted with much enthusiasm and he ripped into the starchy cylinder with gusto.

Then my Mom and I tried to get some. Payne was reluctant. In fact, I'd say he was downright pissed. My Mother promised him that if we ran out of popcorn we would get some more. His iron grip on the top of the popcorn bag relaxed a touch. We were allowed to get handfuls out of the bag with merely a moderately concerned look from its guard.

Payne spent the next hour shoving disturbingly large handfuls of the stuff into his mouth. He probably ate half of the bag pictured by himself. I was relieved when it was finally gone.

Then we passed the popcorn stand again. He remembered our promise.

I re-promised (spectacular parenting here!) that we would get some as we left, and he was calmed.

Then when we went to leave we tried to find some 'corns, as he calls them, but found out they're only sold at that one stand. Payne's eyes widened in sorrow, he tucked his chin, there was a hint of a lip quiver,...and then my Dad was trotting back to the middle of the zoo as the rest of us waited outside.

When the popcorn had been presented, Payne was overjoyed. This involved some maniacal laughing. I allowed him to shove a couple handfuls into his mouth and then put the rest away for "after lunch".

After lunch, a couple more handfuls, then it was put away for "after the train ride".

During the train ride I had to wrestle the bag away from him and "lock" it closed with a hair tie. He was displeased with me and pouted. I told him he could have more after his nap.

He fell asleep in the car on the way home. As my father was lifting him from his car seat Payne awoke slightly and softly whimpered "Pop corns?".


I gave him a Tupperware bowl full of the stuff after his nap. He finished it all and ate a full dinner.

All in all. I'm betting he ate a whole tube o' corns by himself today. I had to put chap stick on him before bed because his lips were red and irritated from all of the salt. My kid injured himself with food.

Things I'm fairly certain my child would eat until he barfed:
- Macaroni and cheese from a box
- Popcorn


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I have a glass licker.

I'd honestly hoped that this behavior was a fluke...that had "fluked" several times. Today, at incidence number four-ish I had to admit that my kid enjoys licking glass in public places.

Let me set the stage for this little story. Chick Fil A (i.e. Mecca of stay at home moms) has an indoor play area that is completely closed in. This includes one glass wall intended to allow parents to supervise play. It's not unlike a little kid ant farm. There are booths lined up along this glass wall on the outside, and usually a bench or two lined up along it within the play area. This allows children to climb up on the benches and be eye level with those dining in the booths, with only a pane of glass between them. It's like the chimp viewing area at the zoo, with shockingly similar behavior to be observed.

My beloved son enjoys climbing up on a bench, making eye contact with those seated at the opposing booth, and repeatedly licking the glass. He will continue to lick until I notice and he is dragged off of the bench, leaving a drool trail in his wake. Payne is a charmer, let me tell you. I wish I had a photo, but I haven't taken the time to preserve this joyous little moment for obvious reasons.

Now, the really entertaining part in all of this is the vast range of reactions he receives. When a pair of stay at home mothers in the middle of an animated conversation were the recipients of this little visual treat, they glanced over, barely smirked, and continued as if nothing were out of the ordinary. I fell in love with them just a little bit for this. On the opposite end of the spectrum was the woman who gasped and promptly adopted a look of such disgust that I was sure she was about to vomit into her fry carton. Today we simply received hysterical laughter, for which I was grateful.

Let's add "If you lick the glass again, we're going home." to the list of things I never though I'd utter aloud, right alongside "We do not blow our nose at people".

I'm assuming cocktails are frowned upon at 2 p.m.?

Monday, November 14, 2011

Oh Lord.

We need to get this child some cowboy boots.

After he clicked out of my bedroom like this, I went and put a knob cover on our closet door. Not because I'm concerned about his appreciation of a good heel, but because I'm beyond sick of putting six scattered pairs of my shoes back in their rightful place every evening!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Poor Second Children.

First time parents are both neurotic and incredibly smug. If one is going to spend countless hours freaking out about being in charge of keeping a completely helpless little blob of person alive, one at least requires the pay off of a decided sense of superiority among fellow parents.

"Oh, I don't let my 15 month old watch T.V. He doesn't even know what Sesame Street is!" (Parent who spent 45 minutes earlier in the day installing coffee table corner bumpers, and who may or may not have caregiving induced IBS, puffs out chest in pride.)

When the second child comes along (and this is as far as my personal life experience has taken me) things become far more focused on survival. A good day ends with both children in bed, still breathing. That's it. "Both kids have a pulse eh? I'm breaking out the bubbly!".

Therefore, the poor second child doesn't experience the same level of developmentally appropriate insulation in the early days. When Payne was a baby, he didn't know what a cartoon was.



And the hilarious part is that I get frustrated that it doesn't distract her like it distracts her brother. With a three month old Payne I was all "Here! Look at this rattle I'm shaking instead of watching the news!" and now with Genevieve it's more like "WHY WON'T ELMO MAKE YOU STOP CRYING!?".

This attitude goes for toys as well. Payne had almost no noisy toys, and we didn't put batteries in anything that lit up etc... Now we've stuffed them into every single baby toy we can. Everything lights up or makes noises, and she loves it. If a backflipping light up duckie that screams "Camptown Races" in falsetto buys me an extra five minutes while cooking dinner, I'll buy AAs in bulk...and wear ear muffs.

Children are humbling, that much I have learned!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

T-Rex arms and another chapter in The Life and Times of Piggi(es).

Babies are not dissimilar to dachshunds.

I don't mean that in the kibble eating, incessant barking sort of way, but more in the "hilariously disproportionate" sense. I've never had a stronger urge to laugh at an inappropriate time than when viewing an x-ray of Stella after a back injury. I have similar (although less offensive) urges to laugh when babies stretch, extending their arms over their head.

Exhibit A:

What's so funny about this, you say? Well, take your own arm, extend it, and bring it up to rest against the side of your head. Note the position of your hand. Now, look where Genevieve's hand is resting, with a fully extended arm.

Heh heh heh heh heh! WHY did I not think to dress her as a T-Rex for Halloween?

In other news, meet the twins:

Piggi and Piggy? Hell, I don't know. They're both "Kiggy" to Payne.

Piggy has had a stunt double for quite awhile (acquired with considerable effort and expense after Piggy was discontinued) but the gig was up fairly early in the charade, and now Payne keeps both of them in his room.

The twins were wearing matching onesies, thanks to a generous donation from Genevieve, but Payne decided they were dirty and needed a bath. Desperate to avoid water logged swine, I created a Pig tub out of an overturned plastic stool, which I placed in the bathroom while Payne himself was getting a scrub.

Payne's hair was washed, the pigs hair had to be washed. Payne's back was scrubbed, the twins backs were to be scrubbed. In similar fashion their "teeth" were brushed and I was very specifically instructed to "get deir butt" while drying with Payne's snake themed hoodie towel.

After their bath some "Kajamas" had to be procured (again, a shout out to Baby Sister is in order), and bottles provided. During their feeding I took one and Payne took the other. Team work is imperative when caring for multiples, especially in the early days.

After some snuggles:

"The Girls" were tucked in under a rocket ship themed comforter, and got a head start on some shut eye before being joined by their most devoted caretaker.

I want to tell Payne that co sleeping might lead to some behavior issues in the future, but I'm really trying not to overstep my bounds here. (sigh)

Monday, November 7, 2011

Public humiliation edition 7,653:

We were having an exciting time in Samsclub this afternoon. I was consulting my list when Payne grabbed it from me, glanced at it in a purposefull fashion and said "Dr. Pooper".

I asked "You mean Dr. Pepper?" (which wasn't on the list)

Payne: "NO! Dr. Pooper!"

Me: "Dr. PEPPER."

Payne: (gleefully throughout the rest of the trip) "DR. POOPER DR. POOPER DR. POOPER!"

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Around the house.

Guess who helped select the toys for the bumbo chair?

It's so SQUISHY!

He can get in and out of it himself. Heh heh.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Bed Head

I suppose every moment of every day involves bed head when you're an infant.

I do think my kid sort of takes the cake on the concept though:

What do you think we've got there? Like an inch of scalp to tips clearance?

Haaaaa ha ha!:

I should retire "Beaker" and start calling her "Sonic".

Payne helped me put this old toy together. He will use any excuse to get the "skoowiber" out of the junk drawer that he is expressly prohibited from sifting through. After Evie was in the rotating bouncer/hammock thingie he went around the perimeter of it and pretended to tighten all of the visible screws.

The victor brandishes his trophy:

Contrary to the present optical illusion, the baby does indeed possess a torso.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


What could be better than naked FattyFattersonMcFattypants legs terminated by itty bitty stripey socks?:

FattyFattersonMcFattypants legs covered in tights with horizontal stripes; that's what:

(Payne calls these "Gen-vive's wainbows".)

And what could be better than both?

Warning: Continuing to peruse could result in cute induced spontaneous head combustion...


Baby Gap had my number as usual. Damn.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

The Pumpkin Patch

We decided to revisit a pumpkin patch in town that we'd discovered the year before with our friends.

We decided to go at noon the day before Halloween.

Payne and J.P. on the very exciting wagon ride...nearly comatose.

Skipping naps might not have been my best decision ever.

Once we got out to the Pumpkin field another error in judgement was revealed. So far I thought we'd gotten away with a late visit. The crowds were bearable, which was surprising. However, the pumpkins were...aging.

They do not age gracefully. They age fragrantly.

"Hey Ma. What am I supposed to do in a field full of rotting pumpkins?"

"I shall kick them!"

"Oh look J.P. ! Garbage! Let's play with it!"

"Now we shall roll pumpkins with vigour!"

What wasn't caught on film, was Payne stepping in a pumpkin puddle and covering his sneaker in pumpkin goop. Goop which made my car smell like decaying gourd the whole 45 minute ride home.

I picture J.P. celebrating here:

"Hurrah! We get to go home!"

Sooooo it wasn't an ideal trip, but we did find a good pumpkin and I think the boys had fun between bouts of exhaustion induced hysteria.

This is what Dan turned our pumpkin into:

Because he's just that awesome.

Happy Three Month Birthday Genevieve!

I'm late! I know. We had a "four days of Halloween fun" extravaganza around here and haven't had time to breathe, let alone type! I had no idea showing kids a good ole festive time could be so exhausting.

She is so smiley now, I love it!

I stole some pumpkin patch photos for her "three month" pictures because a certain husband deleted the ones I took on her exact three month birth day....harumph.

At least he's cute.

I love the knee-less legs so very much.

And a note about Genevieve's self soothing mechanism; her go-to comfort position is something we saw her doing as far back as her 20 week ultrasound. She takes her left hand and jams her second and third fingers into the top of her eye socket through her eyelid. Yeah, not so soothing for us! It sort of looks like she's trying to pull out her own eye. (nervous smile)

Her little personality is starting to show through a bit, although the ceiling fan still receives a disproportionate amount of her affection. She is starting to play with toys more and trying to roll over from back to stomach. I'm pretty sure she is going to be seriously hacked off when she succeeds, since she hates playing on her belly.

We love you girlie. Congrats on surviving this family for three whole months!