Friday, October 28, 2011

Zoo Boo

Today was cool and cloudy, and I decided this was perfect "suffer in order to avoid the crowds" weather, so off we trekked to the zoo in our Halloween regalia.

"I can't hear you. Speak up. Who's a wino? I don't want to turn around. Ugh, fine. OH MY GOD!"

I cannot stop laughing at this picture.

"My costume is stupid. Am I a skeleton? Am I a puppy? What is a skeleton? What is a Puppy? I'm hungry."

"Greetings bretheren!"

"Guys. Not breathing over here..."

"Oh sure Sinister Chimp, you scared the pee out of me last time, but how do you like me NAH!"

"My hat is too small...Idiots."

(retracts claws) "I was just, um, giving him a hug. Yes."

And then Dan met us there for the rest of the morning and snagged a photo that requires not one sarcastic caption in order to be cute:

Ta da! Happy early Halloween!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011


Today we were at a playground and a little boy, who happened to speak Spanish, befriended Payne. They were both in a bit of a wild (read "feral") mood, so at one point I had to go remind Payne to be gentle. After my speech Payne pointed to his new friend and introduced me by saying "Dis Ohwa. Dis my Ohwa."

Get it? Replace the "W" sounds with "L" sounds. Heh heh. I guess the other little boy was the first to say hello.

In other news, we're starting to lose the Beaker fluff. I suppose its good that Genevieve won't be bravely taking a straight iron to it at sixteen, but it still makes me a little sad to lose it. Right now she has an under layer of flat hair and a long over layer of the puffy hair, so when I brush it the short stuff helps to hold down the fluff. It definitely looks more tame, but at present it may or may not resemble a comb-over.

G's new look:

I guess she approves.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Unassociated amusing photos.

I have little energy for witty text tonight, but I've got some pictures at least!

All dressed up for church on Saturday night:

She's all "Oh yeah...I rock this jumper hard!"

Payne's nose thing was pretty unattractive there for awhile. My Mother's "solution" to him looking odd (appearing to be afflicted with leperosy) was putting a band aid across his entire nose:

Oh yes. Much better! Now he looks like the world's youngest recipient of rhinoplasty.


"What exactly are you trying to say about horizontal stripes? Oh no you didn't! I am not a "wide" girl. My butt is ALL diaper."

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Piggy Regresses.

I feel like Piggy was once regarded as a type of peer, but since Little Sister came to be, it seems that Payne has morphed him into a baby. And really, I should be typing Piggi now, since Payne has reassigned "his" gender to female.

Piggi gets wiped and diapered, shoved under Payne's shirt to "drink miowk" (yeeeaaah...), and burped. She spends time in the car and bouncy seats, gets her nose wiped. She's very sufficiently cared for swine.

Last night Payne decided she needed "a sirt", so off we went to Genevieve's closet.

I couldn't resist.

Payne very astutely pointed out "Kiggy wearing a kiggy sirt!". Hee.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011


Tonight Payne came into Genevieve's room, closed the door and whispered "Ssss! Dere's a whoa-bot!". So we whispered for awhile about the robot. It was first a baby robot, and then a tiger robot.

Then, we went to the office to whisper to Daddy about the robot, which had suddenly taken up residence in the tree in the front yard. So my dear sweet husband took Payne outside to shake the "whoa-bot out da twee", and the world was safe once again.

These little people are amazing. I love them.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Genevieve's Baptism.

We got Baby Girl al Holy'ed up this weekend. Here are some of my favorite pictures.

A side note to family, I'm making prints of the big group shots for everyone.
My Mother in law made Genevieve's little dress and cap. She looks satisfied, no?

Yeah, she screamed. We'd better keep an eye on this one...

My daughter is really cute, and my husband is REALLY cute. I'm lucky.

My first reaction when I saw this complete family photo was "Yay! I don't look fat!". Heh. Then I was all disappointed when I realized Payne was making a goofy face so I can't blow it up to poster size in glee.

Monday, October 17, 2011

You've got to be kidding.

Payne sprouted a nose infection yesterday (right before Genevieve's baptism. Yay!). The doctor at the Urgent Care center prescribed this "salve", as he called it.

(Blink. Blink.)


I, um....

(stifles laughter)

There has to be another option here.

(runs to get camera)

There was indeed another option, which his pediatrician prescribed us today. Unfortunately it still looks like he tried to pick his nose with a Sharpie. He was supposed to use this stuff for seven days! Can you imagine the reactions I would have gotten with him in public?

Actually, now that I think about it, I'd kind of like to put it on him again and take him to the mall play area as a sort of anthropological experiment...

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I'm speechless.

My baby is Fran Drescher circa 1960.

As you can see, the selection of swaddle blankets for larger babies is a little thin.

I'm just kind of dumbfounded that this ever made it into production. Who sits in a board room and says "We need to design some sassy sleep accessories for the under 6 months of age crowd. I'm thinking animal prints. Rawr!"?

I have the incredible urge to draw some whiskers on her cheeks with eyeliner.

It's probably a good thing I don't wear eyeliner.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011


I was dropping my parents off at their house. In order for my Mom to get out of the back seat my Dad had to remove the baby bucket.

Payne saw this and yelled "Pappy has Gen-vive! Dop (stop) him!"

Then as Genevieve was returned, Payne gravely informed my Dad "Dat's not yours".

My little future hall monitor...

Monday, October 10, 2011


Genevieve has the same reaction whenever I stop her while she's eating in order to burp her:

"WAIT. Where did the milk go? Oh My God, is there no more milk?!"

Which quickly evolves into:

"Life isn't worth living! I shall end my days by means of throwing my head repeatedly against the shoulder of my torturer!"

Also, my kids wore some pretty awesome clothes today.

I wanted to save this for church, but she didn't go to church with me this week, and next week she's going in her baptismal gown, and who knows if she'll still fit into it in two weeks, so I decided it was Formalwear Monday:


But do you see the shoes? They're kind of hard to make out here. They looked adorable on the hanger at the store, but on her feet they appear sort of...geriatric. Maybe white leather t-straps paired with thick white socks have no choice but to look orthopedic in nature. Hmm.

Best shirt ever:

I promise he doesn't watch t.v. twenty four hours a day, its just that t.v. time is the only time I can grab a picture of him with something as slow as a camera phone. This kid is like a squirrel on a jackhammer.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Fashionable Baby is displeased.

Payne has been sick, so we've just been hanging around the house. At first I just had Genevieve in a onesie and matching socks, but I was afraid she was cold, so I busted out the baby leg warmers.

Dachshund onesie? Cute. Mary Jane socks? Cute. Rainbow leg warmers? Cute. The combination? Odd.

She is unamused.

Also, whenever she wears the leg warmers, at some point during the day I MUST take her legs and do a super quick running motion with them while singing "She's a maniac MAAAniac on the flo-oo-or, and she's dancin like she's never danced before!". I need to find an off the shoulder sweatshirt in a size 3-6 months.

Also, being housebound gives one a great opportunity to observe the daily activities of one's pets:

Did you know a Boppy pillow makes for a fabulously ergonomic dachshund chair? I did not.

This explains why I'm always picking dog hairs off of Genevieve.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Fruits of Indoctrination.

As we pass any steepled building, Payne yells "Dat a tirch! Deedis in'ere!".

I prefer to assume that he has actually grasped the concept of omnipresence rather than accept the likely possibility that he thinks Jesus is a statue.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Unassociated photos that I like.

The eccentricity of a three year old:

He begs to wear his hooded towels after he is dressed, so he can be "soo man" (super man). This one is actually a shark towel. On this particular evening he and Dan were watching "see wine" (sea lion) videos together all evening. I don't remember how this started.


I like how the Beaker fro caught the light here.

More eccentricity:

I hadn't heard anything. When I opened the door to get him up from his nap he popped out of that giant cardboard box at me. Lets all hope he wasn't actually riding the scooter while on the bed.

And some more of Madame Chubbers:

...and an inside out dachshund ear. Not so cute.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Manufacturing a good photo.

So I had the sudden realization today that my kids had matching outfits. Same color, same brand. Oh My Lord! How did I not realize this before? After this epiphany my entire goal in life shifted. I didn't have a good picture of both kids. I was going to get aforementioned picture, right this second.

Now, it was nap time so I decided to hold out on my plan until both were well rested. However, it quickly became apparent that neither child was planning on actually napping, so I thought "What the hey, I'll just bathe them early and put them in their clothes for church tonight. After pictures we'll try nap again.". Is anyone seeing a potential itsy bitsy flaw in my plan?

Attempt #1: I'd seen Dan use the bedroom to good effect in the afternoon light, so I gave it a shot.

Note to self: look at the background before you commit.

Attempt #2:


Aaand #3:

Crying baby, and nice pedicure!

I'd bribed Payne with candy and Genevieve was done for a bit, so we moved to the couch.

Ok, couch lighting not so good for photos, and Payne goes full zombie in front of t.v.

Moving to the office:

We've reached total melt down. Bwoop! Bwoop! Bwoop!

This session ended with me carrying Payne kicking and screaming into his room for another nap attempt.

Right before church we went outside to try again:

Err, not quite what I had in mind my little diva man.

This is good! This is....oh. Um, I'll be right back with something for that.

Perhaps reclining would be better for the lady's digestion:

Payne, I'll give you a sucker!

Oh my sweet baby Jesus:

We've got it!

(Strikes the Heisman Trophy pose)

(Trots a victory lap around the family room)


(Raises the roof)

It's Good!

I'm exhausted.