Monday, July 2, 2012

My house could be haunted and I would never know.

Stuff moves around here without my knowledge on the daily.

-All of my belts were missing until Sunday.

-Dan lost the insole for one of his shoes for a good three months.

-We lost the T.V. remote for TWO YEARS. I assumed Payne had thrown it in the garbage at some point, but then a cleaning lady came as a gift when I had Genevieve and when I got home it had been placed very neatly on the coffee table. I still have no idea where it was hiding for the better part of my son's life.

-Dan routinely unpacks his work suitcase at his hotel and finds a coaster, or matchbox car, or some other token of our child's (or a wee spectre's?) affection.

-I just got up to use the bathroom and found all of the toothbrushes laying in the sink and pointing towards the drain.

The positive spin on all of this is that having stuff get stolen and shifted about the house continually has really improved my marriage.

- All of Dan's socks are gone? The baby must have taken them.

- There's a massive puddle of soda on the wood floor? The baby must have knocked Dan's Dr. Pepper can over.

- Can't find an important reciept? The baby ate it.

I'm positive that we both know full well the majority of the time that our grievances of the day were probably the fault of our spouse, but it's awesome having largely mute scapegoats. Nobody hates the baby. The baby is cute, holds no grudges, has no vices.

I plan to use this method to avoid dealing with relationship issues until "the baby" is out of law school.


No comments:

Post a Comment