Thursday, September 6, 2012


I'm continually amazed by all of the gear out there designed specifically to make the lives of infant owners easier.

There are a few inventions that I hold dear to my heart.

The Exersaucer: Because of this monstrous and gaudy toy, I get to shower.

Swaddle blankets: I am missing the "swaddle" section of my brain.  I happily forked over the $25 for a scrap of knit cotton with velcro patches and thanked my lucky stars I hadn't been of child bearing age before the year 2000.

Disposable tupperware: The idea of having to care whether or not I forgot one of the three million plastic food holders I use on a daily basis somewhere out there in the universe, completely depresses me.

But, I think I have found an invention that I just can't quite get behind.

I mean, I used it, but it felt so very wrong.....


Yep. A wall mounted baby seat made expressly for public restrooms. (Right next to the feminine suppy dispenser, I might add; very efficient.)
I've got to admit it was a lot easier to help Payne in the stall without 20 extra pounds extending a foot further out on my left hip, other kid was hanging off the wall. All I could think about were those internet photos of babies duct taped to walls with their mini feet all a-danglin'. And the seat was out in the exposed area of the bathroom, so I kept thinkging someone was going to bust in there while I was in the stall with Payne and think a crazy lady ditched her pesky one year old and made a run for it. Plus, if someone did pop in, Genevieve would have been all "Oh Hi!" which actually comes out "Haaaaa! Budwa? Psssshwt. Dah?" That might have been a little awkward for the recipient, no?
Ah well, I'll probably keep using it anyway.  My left bicep appreciates the time off, and history has shown that when faced with the choice between convenience and avoiding potential embarrassment, I pick convenience approximately 100% of the time.
Be warned public restroom users, a confronation with a hardware mounted infant may be in your immediate future.

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