"Who needs bath toys?"
"The absence of real tub play gear (due to the regular befouling and eventual tossing of the original toys...thanks Baby G) just drives our creative play based development. Yes, that is exactly what Mom intended."
"In other important kid-life news, Mom has started feeding us breakfast at the kiddie table, because highchairs are like way too hard at 6:30 a.m., and we kept shoving raisins in every crevice of the furniture and letting our milk drips filter through the subterranean geology of the couches, as ground water filters through limestone, leaving similar crusty deposits behind."
Payne: "Where's my paper? I can't finish my milk without knowing who won the game last night. After all the years we've been living together, I'd think you would remember, hon."
G: "Oh I don't know. You can't get good help these days. My breakfast pastry is cold, and I still haven't gotten my damn latte."