Sunday, June 17, 2012

A small confession:

I'm a complete baby clothing related prude.

Even with boys, I manage to find things worth my moral opposition. I won't put Payne in sleevless shirts, or shorts that are more than a couple of inches above the knee. I turn down shirts that say "Ladies man" or "L'il Romeo" etcetera. I've even spotted boys sweatpants with a phrase written across the butt, and turned those down as well.

With Genevieve, the list is endless:

-No halter dresses or tops. Because, you know, all of those babies in halters look just like Victoria's Secret models?

-No one shoulder dresses or tops.

-None of that one full shoulder and one spaghetti strap business. That there is for floozies.

-No off the shoulder dresses or tops.

-No sweetheart necklines. What exactly would the middle of the neckline be drawing down to reveal?

-No ruching at the center chest. Again, what optical illusion are we trying to create, exactly? Gross.

-No baby bikinis, and two pieces must cover her belly entirely. I don't want any 15 month old boys in shades checking out her chubby belly, you know.

- No baby heels (yes, these exist).

-No sassy phrases like "Little diva", "Flirt", "Daddy's Princess". Those are putting.

-No writing on the butt.

-No glitter. I may lose this battle sooner rather than later.

-Hell, I'm not even crazy about true spaghetti straps (I prefer a flat, wider strap).

-No peep toe shoes. They're not work (read: playground) appropriate, guys. We don't want her encountering play place discrimination.

-No suggestive skirt gathers, like a raise in the hem at the thigh (Oh yes. I've seen this in the toddler section). I don't need no baby can-can dancer.

-No lingerie style lace. I bought some leggings with a wide lacy trim and found myself repulsed by the effect once they were on.

-No patches of transparent fabric (Seen this too, sadly).

Pretty much, if anything could be worn on a full grown woman and viewed as sexy, its not going on my daughter. As I've never seen a woman walking down the street in ruffle butt bloomers or a summer bubble (looking anything but ripe for institutionalization) I deem these items acceptable, even though they show a lot of baby leg.

I mean, I bought her this and it's really cute (and it was like 40% of its original price) but it still makes me vaguely uncomfortable:

This is all reeeeaaaally ironic, considering I have no qualms displaying her naked butt to the world...

Many of the things I won't buy aren't even remotely offensive to 90% of the population, so I know the crazy is all me. However, it doesn't go down quite as weird as it seems from my list. It's more like I'm shopping and flipping through the racks going "Nope. Nope. Nope. No way in Hell." but I don't think about why I've immediately rejected something until I'm dissecting my own reaction to it. The negative reaction is immediate and sort of visceral, and then I move on.

I'm pretty sure once she outgrows the toddler section of mainstream stores I'll be trying to order most of her clothes out of a catalogue that caters to fundamentalist Christians. She is going to haaaaate me. Ha!

Seeing as her father proclaims with great conviction that she is going to grow up and become a nun, I think we may compound each other's parental conservatism to a leeetle bit of an excessive degree. If any of my dear friends ever spot Genevieve sporting a neck to ankles jumpsuit while clutching a baby safe rosary, it might be time to sit me down for a talk.


  1. Haha! Love this post. I have also seen little girls with clothes on that would be considered sexy on an adult and I think, why? What is the point of a halter top on a baby? A two-piece swim suit? More area of potential sun burn people! And shorts with the word "juicy" across the rear on 8 year old. Who exactly do we want checking out an 8 year old? Yuck. I agree with your post and dang it, look at all those cute clothes she does wear! There is no shortage of cute clothes that don't sexualize girls (and women for that matter.)

  2. I completely agree with your list. Too many clothes are designed to make little ones look older. I think they should enjoy being sheltered a bit. They grow up too fast as it is. I see this every year teaching.

  3. I am soooool with you! And I have TWO girls! It is so hard and the older Austyn gets the harder it gets to dress her appropriately and covered in all the right places WITHOUT all the interference of what other girls are wearing. However, that being said, I have learned that I do have to give a little on what she wears and let her pick out her clothes. Example, today being Kynlee's birthday, Austyn wants to dress up, so she is wearing an appropriately aged "princess" dress and her cowboy boots! I welcome her free spirited personality and willingness to be different!! I hope she always stays that way, with mommy and daddy approved clothes of course, but we've yet to find full covered body Suits for both of them that are daddy approved!