His legs and arms are a constellation of bruises and scratches. He still has a goose egg or light scar from a recent cut on his head most of the time. He is quite simply a walking disaster.
On his first birthday he looked like he'd lost a fight. Up until age two he had a split lip or a wound from biting himself while falling the majority of the time. At two he ran directly into a support column at the zoo. He was running full speed in one direction and looking in another. Bam. His arms even swung forward at impact, just like on Looney Tunes. For awhile I just assumed his propensity for self injury was normal. I mean, it took 4.599 billion years of planetary history for a bipedal organism to really nail the concept of walking upright. Who am I to judge my toddler for still being a little shakey on the concept?
Now I'm having to face reality. The poor child is definitely more accident and injury prone than his peers. He straight up falls out of chairs, while sitting relatively still. At this point its hard not to laugh when it happens, because one minute his shaggy little head is visible above the table, and then it's just...not. A couple of days ago he was very simply walking across the hardwood barefoot, and his feet (in a true display of defiance towards ordinary laws of physics) went straight out from under him and he fell HARD straight down onto his butt. A lot of the time he'll be running behind me while we're out and about, and I'll hear him fall. It goes something like "tap tap tap tap tap tap tap SPLAT (extended pause) waaaaaah! Mommyyyyyyyy!" and really, "splat" is pretty much dead on. It's like he takes a flying leap and his entire body hits the tile/pavement at the same instant.
Oh, and my own personal favorite. Yesterday, he ran into the garage door as it was opening...backwards. He blindly clotheslined the back of his neck with a large noisy moving target. That takes a true gift.