Two and a half and he already thinks I'm stupid.

After Payne woke up from his nap today he started knocking on the inside of his bedroom door and yelling "Heh-whoooooa!" like normal.

I yell back "You up buddy?"

Him: "Yeah! I in my room!" (good to know)

I go open the door, he greets me, points behind him, and says "Dis my bed."

I had no idea son. Thank you.

Random Aside: My all time favorite "Payne waking up" event was when we had a house guest that was staying in the room next to Payne. He got up in the morning and Payne heard him moving around, so Payne yelled to him "Hi! Mommy? I hear you! It's me, Payne!". HA.

It's official.

There is nothing cool left about me.


I just bought this:

(low whistle)

Check out that sweet ride. It's so....grey, and get an eyeful of those cup holders!

So yeah, because of my absolute need to escape the confines of my home each and every single day, I decided to get a stroller that I can use to cart around Nugget and Payne simultaneously. Believe it or not, this is actually one of the more compact options (for under $200 anyway). The seat for Payne is a little bench seat in the back, so it doesn't take up as much room as a full second stroller seat. However, it's still huge. I'm going to have to get used to navigating with this thing, considering I've accidentally slammed my poor child into way too many corners and edges of clothes racks even with his current little umbrella stroller.

I have dubbed it the Land Yacht .

I've got to admit, I'm a little bit excited about it, simply because it means that my wee brood and myself will be able to continue our urban explorations. I'm relieved I can still count on zoning out on a bench while my son plays with the latest overpriced marketing tool.

The one below is a sort of projected series of advertisements that are interactive. Payne can stomp on the mat and move stuff around etc. He loooves it.

My Mom hilariously and very accurately compared it to entertaining a cat with a laser pointer...

(Evil Cackle)

The cute blondie is J.P., Payne's current best bud (he calls him "Pay P."). They're only 7 months apart and I very sincerely hope that they're still friends at the age of 18, so I can bring out this photo and embarrass the crap out of them.

Toddler Revenge.

Yesterday Payne and I had a battle over his nap. He was of the opinion that he didn't need one and I was of the opinion that I didn't care whether he needed on or not; I needed two hours of peace anyway.

After a few stern visits to his room and various re-tuckings into bed, all went quiet. Victory! I was quite pleased with myself.

When I went to retrieve him I opened his door to find this:



Sooooo I guess Payne translated "nap" to mean "gut bedroom in complete stealth mode".

Truer words have never been spoken.

Today, as we approached the mall, I asked Payne "Is that where you go play?".

He very excitedly responded: "Yeah! And Mommy go potty!"

(sigh)

I think I'm ready to not be pregnant anymore. BUT, when one is pregnant one can (between bathroom stops) buy things like this at the mall...



So there's that. However, one can buy cute baby clothes after the baby is born too, and perhaps manage to blog about something other than peeing a lot.

Sorry guys.

Massive, massive Mommy fail day.

Let's hope my child survives the night.

This morning I took him to IHOP. While dicing up pancakes I lost a square. It fell under the table and I didn't bother to retrieve it. As we left the restaurant Payne got slightly ahead of me, plucked the 30 minute old pancake bit off of the floor, and before I could even yip, popped it into his mouth. I went something like "Uuuuugh! Nooooo!" (can we think about what might stick to a syrupy piece of pancake laying on the area people generally rest their feet for a minute?) and a table of women in front of us burst into laughter.

Strike One.

Then we ended up at Pei Wei for dinner after church. As we left THERE Payne ran ahead of me again. We spotted the rogue pea simultaneously. It lay ominously on the tile walkway out of the restaurant. We had no way of knowing how far it had traveled, or for how long it had languished unattended in it's current location. I yelped "Leave it! It's dirty!". Payne swooped, grabbed, and popped it into his mouth. I yelled "Auuuuugh! No no! That's gross!". Then I realized a woman near the door was shooting me a dirty look, so I sort of barked "Sorry!" and when she continued to look at my like I was crazy I added a stilted "...for yelling." and then bolted out of the door.

Strike Two.

I promise my kid ate something that wasn't peppered with e-coli today:

Cake and ice cream, at his cousin's birthday party.

Go me! Heh heh.

Payne takes "howping" to a whole new level...

So, in light of Nuggette's fondness for digging her heels into my ribs and pressing her head into my bladder in a leisurely stretch, I have to cut into Payne's playground fun quite frequently for bathroom breaks. I try to sort of coax him away by asking if he can "Help Mommy go potty".

He takes this job very seriously.

He will get behind me and push my rear in the direction of the bathroom, saying "D'is way Mommy!". Once we're inside he takes my hand and guides me with great concern while spouting "Here Mommy. I howp you!" into a stall. He locks the door (his favorite part). Then he will back me up to the toilet and try to pull my pants down for me, saying "Pants Mommy, der you go!". He also brings it upon himself to pre-measure and tear off my allotment of toilet paper. After that I'm reminded to flush, and assisted with closing the door (his second favorite part). He never forgets to remind me to wash my hands, and is very diligent in obtaining paper towels for hand drying, perhaps over diligent when towel retrieval involves an automatic paper dispenser...

I genuinely believe that he thinks I couldn't do it without him. It's hilariously sweet!