Thursday, January 5, 2012

Lessons I have learned.

Today we went to library story time. I learned:

Once again, that umbrella strollers are a blessing from above. Yay for baby cages!

I also learned that Payne isn't a whole lot calmer when his partner in crime (J.P.) is absent.

As we were leaving I had to change Genevieve's diaper and re-learned that grown women will change a baby and leave human excrement on the changing table. Who ARE these people? How does this thought process work? Also, I'm assuming they're like me and have changed thirty thousand diapers in the last year. How hard can it possibly be to keep the poo largely contained? AND they are cleaning up their kid with PRE MOISTENED WIPES, how exactly do they thing these wouldn't be up to the task of wiping a smooth plastic surface clean as well. Blaaaaarg!

Sorry, rogue poop makes me angry.

Then we went to Chick Fil A and I learned that my son bears an attitude toward law enforcement mirroring that of most drug dealers.

Payne: (as I was putting his shoes back on after another unfortunate glass wall licking display) "Mama, dose bad mans!"

Me: (looks over to see a table of State Troopers) "No. They're the opposite of bad men. They're policemen. Good men!"

Payne: "Yeah. Dose good mans. Dey shoot everybody."

Me:(nervous giggle) "Oh no! They don't shoot everybody. They're good!" (runs Payne out of restaurant)

Then we went to Target and I was reminded that human beings will actually walk into a store and steal individual baby hair bows out of a package of eight, or pocket a single pair of toddler size underwear out of a three pack. Really? You just HAD to score the football print boxer briefs for your kid, but were unwilling/undeterred by the threat of potential prosecution to pay $4 for the whole package?

I am now crabby. Ha.

1 comment:

  1. You always make me feel less alone in my beliefs. Really who are these people who leave poop on the changing tables? Or walls? How could poop possibly get on the wall? How would you miss wiping it up. Asher also has gone through a "law enforcers shoot people" phase. My husband attended the local police Citizen's Academy and Asher was convinced that Ben would shoot him if he has an accident. (We were potty training at the time.) Weird ideas.