Book One: Piggy Goes to Market.
Well, that didn't come out right. Sounds sort of foreboding, or maybe like a single novel instead of a series. Hmm...
I feel the need to explain that I have a sort of religious dedication to strawberries when pregnant. Seeing as this is the beginning of strawberry season, it's possible I'm in the middle of a completely out of hand strawberry frenzy. Payne and I are on our own this evening, and I very simply required Pizza Hut and fresh strawberries for dinner. There was absolutely no room for compromise on this issue.
During the tail end of Payne's nap I ordered the pizza, and promptly went to wake him up. He wasn't ready. When awakened prematurely, Payne is generally in the most precarious of emotional states. A single false move can reduce him to a place of complete despair and self pity, as no single human has ever suffered before.
I wanted my Pizza and produce. This required taking Payne out in public by myself, and actually accomplishing a task. Game on. Naturally, this meant Piggy was going with us. Piggy not going with us wasn't an option unless I planned on carrying Payne into the store by his ankles as he screamed helplessly.
Therefore, Piggy did something he has never done before. He entered a public venue. Big day for him. Fortunately, he'd just come from a spin in the washer and dryer, so he was sufficiently primped for the occasion. I wasn't prepared for all of the looks we'd get, thinking a two year old strolling around with a comfort item wasn't a big deal. One little boy yelled from a cart "Doggy!" at Payne, and his Mom looked over, and corrected "No, that's a pig" with the most astonished look on her face, spiced with a little bit of shock or judgement or something. I can only assume this had to do with Piggy's color (and I thought we'd gotten past racial issues in this country!). I wanted to turn and tell her "Listen lady, my son carries a pink pig because domestic pigs are PINK! It's not girly. It's taxonomically accurate!" Hmph.
Once we got to checkout with my precious berry cargo, Payne made a beeline for the candy. I pulled him back. He screamed. I made comforting noises about Pizza. He was unresponsive. The grocery bags caught his attention though, so as I grabbed my single bag (too important to let Payne drag behind him to the car) I stole .02 cents worth of plastic and gave him a bag for Piggy. This was apparently the best idea ever. Payne was quite pleased with himself, although I'm not sure how Piggy felt about it.
After some more dashing around for the pizza pick up, the three of us safely made it home, and made a little picnic on the deck for ourselves.
By the way, the berry and pizza picnic was totally worth it.