-Last night, I went out in public like this:
The irony here is that I made sure to tidy up my hair before I got out of the car at the store. I didn't want to look scruffy, you know. I noticed the cashier was eyeing me a bit strangely, but I placed the blame on the baby on my hip with a good bit of her dinner still on her shirt. Come to find out, even more of her dinner was on mine.
For the inquisitive among you, the paste smeared all over my shoulder is a mixture of pureed bananas and green beans. It's a dead ringer for phlegm. Soooo I look like I hocked a loogie (How do you spell this? Spellcheck doesn't know how to spell words referring to balls of mucous. Go figure) into my shoulder and then rubbed it around. Awesome.
-This morning I awoke in total darkness with a start shortly after six a.m., watching my bedroom door slowly swing closed by an unseen force. As I lay there attempting to slow my heart rate I tell myself it was the a.c. vent blowing on the door. Yes, the a/c vent blowing on the door from two different directions, first out from the wall, then back towards the door frame. There are oscillating a/c vents, right? RIGHT?. In short order, to my great horror, the door very slowly opens again.
I internally panic, then my sleep muddled brain clings to the least terrifying possible explanation:
I yell "Payne?" and a little head pops out from behind the door and chirps "Hi Mommy! I have to go potty!" .
"Payne, were you watching Mommy sleep?" is brightly answered with "Yes!".
I will never sleep again.
- And finally, I think I must be close to hitting my infant wear dependency rock bottom:
First socks, then tights, then hair accessories, and now...