Sorry to disappoint, but very fortunately my sister was able to fly with me this year, making the trip fairly smooth and lacking in comic material. I consider this a fair trade as I get to retain a few more weeks of my life, and possibly a longer run with brown hair.
Everything went very well in general, actually.
By the end of the trip Payne was pooped:
On the way home he took a break from studying the in flight safety manual to introduce himself to the lady across the aisle:
She was charmed, naturally.
He also found the ground transportation options at the airport perfectly sufficient:
Who needs a moving sidewalk when you've got rolling luggage and an able bodied Uncle?