Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Yet another milestone.

I threatened to pull over the car today. Yep.

Payne has taken to unbuckling the chest clip on his carseat and pulling his arms out of his shoulder straps. He does this routinely, and I look in my rearview mirror to see him bending completely at the waist flailing his arms around happily just to see what he can get his little mitts on.

Then I yell, and he scrambles back into his straps and buckles his clip, all the while wearing an enormous grin. I think he likes causing me to react so violently, but dude, how can I ignore his practically suicidal behavior!? I'm sort of at a loss as to what to do here (suggestions are welcome!).

So today as I was driving home, peacefully sipping my one precious fountain coke I ration for myself per day, I glance back and see that Payne is putting on his shoes. I keep driving...

Hold the phone. I took Payne's shoes off when I put him in the car. I tossed said shoes onto the floorboard. Payne is not Stretch Armstrong.

I immediately glance back again and see Payne bent over double with the sheer joy of an open act of rebellion.

I whip around in my seat (bad idea I know) and positively bellow "PUT YOUR STRAPS ON AND CLIP YOUR CLIP OR I WILL PULL THIS CAR OVER AND GIVE YOU A SPANKING." Payne obeys, but maintains that maddening smile. He promptly falls asleep, as I concentrate on returning my blood pressure to normal levels.

Speaking of falling asleep, um, I want to travel like this:

Do you think flight attendants would protest if I dragged my king sized duvet on board with me during my next flight? Because I think that would improve my flying experience ten fold.

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