Abuse.

Payne has two beloved stuffed animals, creatively named Doggy (Thanks Emily!) and Piggy (pure poetry I know). He sleeps with them, he attempts to hold them, his cup, and possibly a bagel or a set of keys all at once. They are his buds.


(man, I wish I had a better picture of this)

I think we need an after school special moment with Piggy.

(Takes deep breath)

Today, during a looong car ride, I heard a disturbance in the rear of my vehicle. I turned to investigate the cause of the commotion and was shocked and horrified by what I saw. My son had Piggy over his knee, and was spanking him while yelling "No!", over and OVER again. He was spanking so hard poor Piggy's wee l'il curly tail was shaking.

(wipes away single tear)

After the incident, the assailant picked up Piggy and gave him a hug. What do you bet he promised never to do it again too? My OWN son, perpetuating a cycle of violence. (sob)

I turned away from this abhorrent spectacle, and found myself shaking. I plead the fifth regarding the assertion that I was shaking with laughter .

P.S. I have never turned my child over my knee! I really don't know where he picked this up. Personally, I'm choosing to blame the season opener of The Office. Down with the networks!