Tuesday, October 26, 2010

I really thought I was a patient person, until I had a child.

There are moments where my son can bring me to the brink of completely losing it.

For example, we were once in the grocery store, and I was drinking a latte from Starbucks. Is this revolutionary? No. But since I've quit working full time I try to be pretty frugal, and nearly $5 for a latte isn't exactly a bargain basement price, so I try to not have one too often. A latte is a BIG deal to me (my life is quiet, ok? heh heh). We had already had to leave Starbucks because Payne was being a pill and disturbing all of the "over the laptop" glarers.

So I'm perusing the canned tomatoes, when I hear a splattering noise coming from my cart. I spin around, and I swear everything went into slow motion. There is my son, grinning, pouring my beloved seasonally flavored espresso beverage out onto the linoleum. I just about dropped to my knees and wailed "My precioussss!".

At that moment, I had a very vivid fantasy of leaving him at the end of the aisle with a sign taped to his front that read "Buy an economy size carton of Goldfish crackers and a gallon of whole milk, and get this for free!". Instead, I mopped up my precious with baby wipes while muttering to myself, and took Payne home.

However, the frustration doesn't last too long, and before I know it he's making me laugh. Today it was while eating his lunch. Normally he throws his grilled chicken and green beans gleefully to the dogs as soon as my back is turned, but today (oh glorious day!) I gave him Frito pie (I added some diced carrots to the chili. Muah ha ha!). Ethel took up her usual ninja dachshund post beneath him, at a spot under the table that I can't see from my seat. He looked straight down at her as he stuffed his face with cheesy goodness, and said "Uh uh" with the exact same intonation I use. Ha! Take that ninja dog!

And if funny toddler hijinks's don't convince me to keep him around for a few more days, a well timed adorable face of mischievousness usually does the trick.

He's all "You'll get over it, Ma." smirky here. Harumph.

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